Red One

Stream on Prime Video

Runtime: 2 hours and 3 Minutes

Rated PG-13

The E.L.F. (Enforcement, Logistics and Fortification) operatives are in charge of all security at the North Pole, including the most important job, protecting the man in red himself. Callum Drift, the head of E.L.F. is getting ready to retire until a terrible tragedy takes place, Santa is abducted. With no leads, E.L.F. turns to the infamous tracker that sold Santa’s coordinates, the Wolf, AKA Jack O’Malley.

Themes:

The truth, finding things, belief, stealing, military cover-ups, the list, absent fathers, toys, punishment, children, witches, myths, parenting, choices, trust, saving Christmas, change, improving, magic, Krampus, Christmas lore, and SANTA!

Language:

A*s - 2 D*mn - 1 D*ck - 1 Hell - 9 Sh*t - 8 Religious Exclamations - 9

One character starts to say the F-word, but is cut off. The term “Hell Hound” is used twice.

Names calling such as morons.

Lines such as, “you’ve got a lot of balls…” and “the magic mike…” are both used.

Stuff to be aware of: “We choose everyday who we want to be.”

Drugs/Alcohol - A character pulls a flask out and pours an alcoholic drink out of it. Liquor bottles are seen sitting around a man sleeping who wakes up with a hangover.

Sexual - There are two different scenes in which a woman in a thong bikini that walks away from the camera and her butt cheeks are seen. There are several other women in bikinis that are seen and a man in a speedo. There are several snowmen monsters who have butt cheeks.

There is a machine that turns toys into real items and a character makes a joke about a Wonder Woman action figure.

Scary - Santa is kidnapped, this isn’t meant to be scary, but is an intense chase scene. You don’t actually see him get nabbed. (Spoiler alert) The headless horseman is briefly seen. His horse has fire for eyes and coming out of his mouth. The headless horseman’s pumpkin head is in a box.

A woman turns to ice and breaks out of it and looks different. A man gets possessed and his eyes glow blue and a woman speaks through him. The woman’s eyes glow blue as she posses him. The man seems to die after that, but then gets up. There are several snowmen monsters that have sharp teeth and scary eyes.

There is a scene that takes place in a scary castle with hell hounds that looks like demon dogs. There is also a Cyclopes and some demon looking men. Later in this scene there are multiple monsters. Krampus is in the movie and is a huge demon looking monster with horns.

There is a piano that plays itself. There is a huge monster witch with two tails, a scary face, and creepy voice.

Last thing, Santa’s elves in the movie are very unique looking. Kind of a mix of Dobby from Harry Potter and an alien. They may not come across as scary, but are very weird.

Violence - There are multiple fight scenes. Nothing graphic, but there are weapons used that seem to shock people and make them sleep standing up. There is also a weapon that wakes them up. When hit, you can see their skulls inside their heads. Santa is put into a special cage that sucks up some of his energy, but it doesn’t seem to hurt him.

People get frozen by magic ice weapons.

Other - There are several scenes with people stealing things, arguing, fighting, and other naughty behavior.

Overall:

Seeing It With Your Family:

This movie leans into its PG-13 rating. It is about on par with Guardians of the Galaxy or Men in Black as far as language and violence goes. Some or the monsters and fantasy creatures mentioned above might be too much for younger viewers. I would say this is definitely a 13+ movie.

What I Thought:

This movie felt like a big budget 90s action movie that wants to world build just enough to be able to pull a sequel if it makes enough money. Be prepared for overly used acronyms that aren’t very creative and a new take on Santa, yeah he works out. The Rock and Chris Evans each fit into a buddy cop style stereotype. One is the overly serious “work is my life” guy and the other is the “laid back jerk.” There is a little more to Evan’s character, but he feels like he was forced to be in this movie and isn’t having any fun. Lucy Lui also feels like she doesn’t want to be in the movie and seems very robotic and sterile.

The story itself isn’t terrible and leans into some fun Yule-tide lore regarding Santa, Krampus, and holiday mythology. It will likely be entertaining enough for those willing to stream it, but I am glad I didn’t pay to see it in theater. There aren’t really any surprises or twists if you have seen the trailer for the movie. Some of the mythos the movie uses may leave some people a little confused, such as who the villain is and if the viewer should recognize her or Krampus.

Some of the CGI is okay, and some looks fairly fake. It it kind of a CGI seesaw. The reindeer are neat, but again you can tell they aren’t real.

This Taken meets Harry Potter take on Santa might be good for a think-less popcorn flick night, but probably won’t be on your Christmas Must Watch List with Elf, Christmas Vacation, The Santa Clause, Muppets Christmas Carol, insert your favorite here…

It’s okay.